As a writer you'll run into all kinds of obstacles, especially when you're still in the beginning of your career. And unless you're very lucky and self-secure, you'll put some of those obstacles in your own way in the form of doubts.

Some of that doubt will come from the outside. People will ask all kinds of questions about your writing, and not all of it will be nice to contemplate:

• They'll ask you when you'll sell your book. Or why it's taking so long to write.
• They'll ask you if your book is anything like Stephen King (or Twilight or Harry Potter or Dan Brown – whichever writer or book brand is strongest in their mind)
• They'll ask you when you can expect to make a living from your writing. Then they'll ask you why you don't work a real job
• They'll tell you that having an imagination is dangerous, but they might still imagine that you'll be as rich as that Harry Potter writer
• They'll ask you why you write short fiction 'because nobody reads that'

It's a writer's first duty not to knock these people out with a baseball bat.

Even from helpful sources on the web you'll get a lot of advice that is most likely true, but also discouraging.

• You probably can't make enough money from writing to sustain a high standard of living
• You may end up wasting your time on a hobby instead of building a career that pays the bills
• You'll have to work two jobs instead of one
• It takes 10+ years to break through
• No matter how good your book is, people will buy Stephen King's books instead

It's testimony to the resilience and foolishness of writers that we don't go bonkers when faced with that kind of information. But there are ways to handle both the aggravating questions and depressing advice.

The most important advice I can give you is to empower yourself

Empower yourself. I give this advice after writing for more than 10 years, and I find it works not just for writers but for humans in general. Give yourself the power to act, and you can do it. In my experience, empowering can be split into three steps:

1. Figure out what the real problem is.

2. Solve the problem, or work around it.

3. Do things your way.

Making conscious choices is of course easier said than done. The real problem holding back your life/writing may be sickness or financial ruin or any of all those dirty tricks life throws at you. In that case, the solution may be to drop writing for a while. In that case, make a conscious decision, and theoretically that should make the choice a little easier.

But in most cases, the problems you face are much easier to work with. 

By the Count of Your Words Shall You be Judged

Writing is a slow process, and there are writers who are constantly posting humongous word counts on their blogs or Twitter. On Monday, Writer X writes 2500 words, on Tuesday Writer Y says '3000 word', and by Wednesday Writer Z posts a record-breaking 4200 words and gets twenty woo-hoo replies.

Thursday you realize that you've written all of 3000 words in the past week. But all the others are speeding along, with higher word counts in a single day! You're behind! You must write more! Oh, the panic!

The real problem here? Failing to be yourself. Not all people are meant to churn out six novels a year. Some (hell, most) of us work slower than that, or with more deliberation. And likely, if you're inexperienced, you'll be less accustomed to the work load it actually is to guide 4000 words from brain to paper.

Writers X, Y, and Z are professionals. They've been doing this for years, and you shouldn't measure your success by their standards. If you took up microphone and guitar you wouldn't blame yourself for not filling arenas like U2, would you?

So do things your way, at your own speed. If you think you're slow, try figuring out what's slowing you down. Lack of writing time? Try making a schedule. A tendency to go back and edit during drafting? Make a conscious effort of writing without touching the delete key. Slow typing or lack of practice at storytelling? Write and you'll grow with the experience. No one is born with it, after all.

Those are problems you can solve. Tackling them may not make you into Stephen King, but then again, nothing will.

Writer's Block

You wake up one morning, and you're stuck. You've got no stories or scenes in your head, and you'd rather touch an ebola patient than a keyboard. The white screen and cursor are laughing behind your back. Congratulations, you've got writer's block!

What's the real reason? Are you tired because you wrote 4000 words yesterday and your creative well hasn't filled up yet? Did you work a 16-hour shift to get the time off for fiction today? Did you hit your neighbor's wife with your car last night? Well, no wonder you're drained.

Can you work your way around it? Take a nap or a walk before writing? Go to the hospital and apologize? If yes, good. If not, then decide to skip it today. It's your choice—no matter how much anyone tells you that You Must Write Every Day, and no matter that they're technically right. They aren't living your life, so they don't know about your special circumstances. But make that choise and make it consciously. It'll be your own.

Discouraging Thoughts

Did you see that review of John Scalzi's last book? "Adjective, adjective, adjective. And all of them positive." Oh, and someone just got nominated for a Hugo award, and it wasn't me.

You can get discouraged by a lot of thoughts:

• I'll never be as famous as...
• My book sucks
• This story has been done before
• It'll take me years to finish this
• This novel has to be a success
• My novel has to be perfect the first time
• Other random thoughts of the day

Add your own if you like. The point is that these thoughts belong in the category of problems that you can work around.

You think your book sucks. Ok, that could be because it's a draft, and you don't have the full perspective of the story yet. Maybe you need feedback to tell you where it sucks so you can correct those parts. Maybe you just need to finish it because it's your first novel, and first novels always suck. Your next novel will be better, and as a writer you'll be writing new novels all the time anyway, right?

No, you'll never be as famous as J. K. Rowling. She's at the very farthest end of the bell curve. Chances are you'll never be as brilliant as Einstein or Edison either. But you can write your book nonetheless.

"This novel has to be a success or people will think I suck." Screw that thought. You can never control what people think of you. In fact, people will get all kinds of ideas about you because of what you publish, and they may think much worse of you than if they think you're just a hobby writer. If they don't accept that you write fiction, well screw them. Or stick to discussing cars and barbeque with them instead of writing, and you'll get along just fine.  

And so on and so forth. You can turn most any thought around, and you can always tell yourself: I choose this for myself, because this is my life. I write.

So yes, you can. Give yourself the power to write – the power to be yourself – and you'll be happier for it.

I've been following the Republican Party's War on Women on the web, and I'm apalled by what I'm reading. I doubt there's perfect equality for men and women in any country in the world, but can we at least try?

But as debates go, I think this one needs a song... The darling Mrs. D. says this isn't quite Gangsta enough, but there you go. Republican rappers would likely lack the street credit anyway.

The Rappublicans - Battle This!

((Yo, shut the fuck up while we GOP this track up!))

We're middle-aged men and we're itching for a fight
because the world is against us and our rights are denied.
But we won't remain in Congress if we go against the blacks,
and the bankers and contributors who's got our backs.
So we fall on Mexicanos and Hawaiian presidents
We slander Arab terrorists who claim that they're gents.
And if there's not enough votes in free guns and low taxation
We'll go for the throat of the female population.

The GOP says men rule best 'cause it's true
The GOP needs victims who are too weak to sue
Because women are sinful we will crush them like the Sioux
As long as the feminists don't discover what we do.

((We gotta fight... For the right... ful paaaar-ty))

America needs fodder for the cannons of tomorrow
But the G.O.P. is male so we're gonna have to borrow
your body for breeding, and we'll control it by law,
'cause if there's one thing the US won't do, it is withdraw
We bless your unripe ovums to take control of your shell
And protecting them from sperm will send you straight to hell.
If you get an abortion, we're gonna call you a whore
See, we're not down with baby murders--unless there is a war

The GOP says men rule best and it's so true
The GOP needs victims who are too weak to sue
Because women are sinful we will crush them like the Sioux
As long as the feminists don't discover what we do.

((We gotta fight... For the right... ful paaaar-ty))

So we tell you not to meddle.
"Be a flower! Or a petal!"
And shut up while we peddle
the bible, and stir the kettle
'gainst lusts so damn unnatural
'gainst busts alluring magical
'gainst charms that will divide us
'gainst bewitching that will blight us

Worship the preachers preaching the Word
Worship the burning that awaits your soul
And don't mind if your feminist pride is hurt
Just make sure to abstain until the wedding bells toll

The GOP says men rule best 'cause it's true
The GOP needs victims who are too weak to sue
Because women are sinful we will crush them like the Sioux
But God, don't let the feminists discover what we do.

Distribution: Creative Commons 3.0

Personally I think we need more space exploration. We go into space to find answers to scientific questions, to broaden the scope of scientific knowledge, and search for the origins of life.

Unfortunately, science for the sake of science doesn't sell that many tickets. So here are a few humble suggestions on how to popularize space travel:

1. Spacesuits are rocket fuel for your dating profile. No one looks fat in a spacesuit, it's just extra padding.
2. Everyone likes Star Wars. Everyone likes The Hunger Games. Let's use the International Space Station for the ultimate reality show!
3. Think of all the great Youtube videos you can make of kittens in a moon base.
4. The next generations of rockets are sure to improve quality of life on Earth. Need I say more than 'Lift-off High-Espresso DeLuxe'?
5. In space you can't hear the screams of fanatics cheering for the GOP war on women.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

March has been an interesting month in many writing ways. I finished the draft of Evermore Archives on March 2nd, and the days after that were kinda strange. I had been working on the novel constantly, and I knew I had to take a break. Even though I love writing it's also something that exhausts me.

(I love being with my kids, too, but that can be exhausting as well. Interestingly, it's two different states--drafting is intense, in-depth concentration for me, whereas being with the kids is multitasking, reacting to demands and questions with ultra-short deadlines.)

Anyway: I knew I'd probably get back to the other novel after Easter, and in the meantime I had a lot of different projects I wanted to get through. Short stories I had written or wanted to write, and a couple of essays I had on my plate as well, and something for my blog, and more tweets, and...

So I didn't take a break from writing after all. I'm not very good at taking breaks. By mid-March I was feeling down, and I had the kids alone over the weekend and a couple of weekdays, and the thought of that drained me too. I started wondering--as I do at such times--whether I shouldn't stop freelancing and find a full-time job and forget all about a career as an author.

In the end, it wasn't a break from writing that got me in a better mood, but the realization that I actually like what I'm doing. I love writing stories. The fact that I had a too many ideas to write down is a good thing, not a reason for stress, but a privilege.  

So, in the end I just sat down and wrote, happy that I could do this without needing a full-time job. I finished a strange short story I drafted in the fall, another that had been rolling around in my head for a long while, and a political essay for a local newspaper that I've wanted to write for a long time.

Today I sent out a third story, and that one was a blast to write. It started as a question: Since feelings are rooted in the brain and limbic system, what feelings would you find in a man with an augmented brain?

A good question, but not much of a story. So I just started writing what I imagined about his feelings, and the story fell out of my mind and onto the page in a jumble--disjointed, with a strange continuity, in very short scenes. I got it onto paper in a day and a half, something I've never before managed with a 3,200-word story . And it worked, at least in the way that fragmented form described the feelings just the way I wanted them to.

Clearly my mind has responded well to the reminder that I'm doing something I like. I wonder if it'll be just as pleased about revising the novel when I get the last pieces of feedback after Easter.

Until then, I'm taking a break. Seriously.

As readers of this blog know, I'm a great believer in technological innovation. So great is my belief, in fact, that I dabble in inventions for the betterment of mankind.

And now I've found it. The ultimate tool for authors with writer's cramp! Bow down in awe as I introduce:

The self-signing book.

Tired of facing the endless lines of people waiting for your scribbled defacement of a paperback that barely makes you a cent a book? Faced with endless finger pain as fan after misguided fan approach you in the belief that you really are John Grisham, and could you please sign this to Geraldine?

No more. With a unique combination of RFID chips, hidden pockets of ink and just a single digital copy of your personal signature, YOU can have your books sign themselves. And you don't even have to be present at the signing!

George P.P. Morton said: "This is really great. Now that I don't have to be physically present at all those conventions I may actually be able to finish the damn series."

Dane Browne: "This is really great. Now I don't have to meet all those loonies who want me to sign my name in some strange Illuminati pattern."

A spokesman of the publishing house Sherman&Shoestring put it this way: "We've been hunting for just this option for a long time. Not only can we save on transportation and convention fees for our midlist writers. We can also hire actors to pose as John Steinbeck and Mark Twain and make a ton of money off their backlist." He added: "This is really great."

So sign up for your very own self-signing book option in the comments. Limited offer on sale only until April 1st 2013.


Avoid this! Buy the self-signing book now!