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New Fiction Market: Futuristic Future

I'm starting up a new media/magazine: FUTURISTIC FUTURE. Admittedly, it'll probably be a decade or six before it's up and running, but I've got the guidelines ready...

Submission Guidelines

What we're looking for

Stories must take place in the future, and should preferably have a positive twist. We are aware that the last fifty years have seen the fall of many civilizations, but that doesn't mean the world can't be a better place. And after all, our readers like to daydream their way out of the slums.  

When trying to determine your topic, please try to keep abreast with the latest trends in publishing. We've seen enough Gregorian Limericks to last us an extended lifetime. 3D vids are ok (see examples in our old-school-dept.) Deep-Trance Hypnotic Tales (DTHT) that alter our readers' subjective reality are always welcome.

(IMPORTANT NOTE: Zombiefying DTHT will most likely trigger our spam filters. We will not be held liable for any damage to you, your brain-embedded hardware, or your family should they be hurt, mutilated or massacred as a consequence of any psychopathic behavior induced in you by our electronic self-defense.)

Politics

Please keep in mind that we're a strict institutionalized revolutionary anti-plutocracy market with strong ephemeral-grounded tendencies. However, any mention of our Great Leader, his Egalitariness Dim, is entirely voluntary and will only count 24.3% towards our total evaluation of your submission.

Who can submit?

We welcome submissions from all writers: Women, men, and Gifted apes. AIs more than six years old should query first, as their initiation algorithms probably won't include a natural appreciation of science fiction, escalatory violence sequence vids, revolutionary Shakespearean anti-surveillance chants, or other topics of great interest to our followers.

While we do not have quotas, we sincerely encourage young white male authors to submit. Our accountants assure us big-busted one-dimensional female main characters will be back in fashion during the next semester, and we've got a market to fill.

Payment

We pay professional rates of 50$R/word upon publication, unless The Greater Association of Piracy lift your story from our servers, in which case you'll receive nothing.

How and where to submit

ZONE® your submission to Futuristic Future and include a token reader's fee of 2500 Revolutionary Dollars.

Please note that failure to comply with these guidelines will result in the deletion of your submission and severe repercussions from our legal department. Also note that our lawyers are heavily armed.

Futuristic Future expect to open to submissions from January 1st 2074.



Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
kara_gnome
Mar. 12th, 2010 12:35 pm (UTC)
Ha, that's great! Love the ...men, women, and gifted apes bit, so much good stuff, here, heh!

I wonder if F&SF would take it? or Asimov's? Both those mags often publish tongue-in-cheek pieces, they both request humor, and it's very short; it might could do :)
jakobdrud
Mar. 12th, 2010 02:00 pm (UTC)
Give it to F&SF? Tip Asimov's off about my sinister plans to grab the fiction market?!?

(Seriously, I was just looking to write some Friday afternoon silliness. Glad you liked it :-) )
ckastens
Mar. 12th, 2010 03:03 pm (UTC)
Best...magazine...ever. :)
jakobdrud
Mar. 12th, 2010 05:23 pm (UTC)
We've got great plans... I don't want to reveal too much, but our clone of Isaac Asimov is coming along just fine. If only we could get him to write instead of spending all his time on Twitter...
(Deleted comment)
jakobdrud
Mar. 13th, 2010 10:38 am (UTC)
It's a sure fit. And don't worry about the initials. If you can pull that story off, I'll personally award you the Honorary White Male Gifted Ape-Award of the month :-)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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