?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Why there are no Aliens

Over the years, Earth has been visited by a variety of intelligent extra-terrestrial species. Many scientists refute this, of course, since there's been no actual proof of contact. However, a new study (*) now shows that the problem hasn't been the lack of contact on the part of the aliens. Rather, the way earthlings have managed first contact has been remarkably clumsy, not to say lacking in etiquette.

The scientists behind the study sum up five examples of what they think could have gone wrong during these first contact events, and why we haven't hear from the aliens since.

1) "Of course it can swim. Look, it's got fins and tentacles. Throw it back in."
2) "Yuck, that's gross! Joss, I'll give you five bucks if you eat it."
3) "No, honey, of course I won't give you any STDs."
4) "How about we send that Saint George guy over to talk to their scaly ambassador?"
5) "You address him as 'Mr. President', you goddamn exobiologist piece of shit."
___
(*) Better than the old studies, trust me.

Tags:

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Terry Hickman
Nov. 10th, 2014 04:00 pm (UTC)
Your birthday
Happy birthday, Jakob!

I've had a hard time keeping track of all my old Speculations friends since LJ dumped the Specul8ons board - I'm glad I got a birthday reminder for you today. But I can't figure out how to "post a greeting" - it keeps asking me for a password and I don't know if it's my old LJ one (I dumped LJ after they dumped us) or yours which makes no sense. Anyway, I hope you find this!

Have a great day - your blog is on my daily routine now so I can keep up with your successes!

In case it doesn't come along with this post, my email is threeoutside A T gmail.com

Yrs truly,
Terry Hickman
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

Profile

Author Pic
jakobdrud
jakobdrud

Latest Month

August 2015
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow